Hey YouTube, Kate Spring here, dating and relationship coach from Victoria, BC. A lot of you have been asking me how to turn a girl on with your body language. And that is an excellent question! This is one of the best ways to simulate some attraction between you and a little miss. Honestly, there is nothing better than those butterflies that you get in your stomach when you start to develop feelings for someone and their touch becomes electric!
Body language is your non-verbal way of communicating with people. It is equally as important as your verbal communication. Whether you believe me or not, I promise you that we interact and we judge people based on this type of communication whether consciously or unconsciously. Having positive and engaging body language is key to putting yourself ahead in the dating world.
Just before we get started, make sure if you have any questions at all to please leave them in the comments below and I’ll be sure to get back to you, personally, as soon as I can! And let me know of other topics you want me to cover.
The best thing to remember, and I can’t stress this enough, is to make eye contact with her. Strong eye contact communicates to people that you are more dominant and powerful than say someone with shfity eyes or someone who is unable to hold eye contact. That type of person is understood as insecure.
If you can make eye contact with a woman, she will perceive you to be warmer, likeable and approachable. And when you are speaking with a woman, and you are able to hold strong eye contact with her, it makes a girl feel like you are only paying attention to her, which you should be. One at a time, it’s like when you were little and your mom would only let you have one cookie at a time. Same thing applies here.
When you are looking all around the room and not at her, she will become disengaged and probably not want to continue talking to you because through your eye contact, she feels like you would rather be elsewhere. So smile and face her with an open body posture. Don’t cross your arms in front of you, and start asking her questions about herself. These are the basics! Women are extremely receptive to body language. And this is your first step in turning her on with body language.
Ask yourself, “what am I trying to accomplish with my body language?” Or “what am I trying to communicate through my body?” And, remember, you’re trying to communicate that you are a confident man with a lot to offer a woman!
You also want to communicate interest and enthusiasm, not in the way where you stare at her and talk too close to her face. That will just make her uncomfortable and most likely force her to clam up. Women are attracted to power. You can communicate this by taking up space. What I mean by take up space is be big. If you’re sitting down don’t cross your legs or arms. Be open and sit with your legs apart and maybe even your arm on the chair next to you.
If you are feeling flirty, and the situation feels right, you could slowly bridge the gap of space between you two. For example, soft touch on the shoulder, or guiding her to the bar with your hand at the small of her back is a good place to start. If she is interested in you and is also exhibiting some positive body language, then she will welcome this kind of touch.
Attraction is best built in the body, but to learn how to continue to build attraction when you aren’t face to face, head over to katespring.com/free and pick up a copy of my Attraction Building Handbook, which is completely free by the way.
Alright, if you want to know a little secret, Amy Cuddy gives a TED Talk about how body language shapes who you are. She suggests that before you are going into a job interview, in this case I’m going to say date, or any time you’re feeling nervous and or small, make yourself big and hold that pose for 2 minutes.
Make yourself stand in a power pose. This could be with your arms straight up in the air or a superman-like pose. She says this has proven to make people feel more confident. So if you are finding yourself nervous, and you need an instant confidence boost, try this! I guarantee you that women will be more attracted to the confident version of yourself.
Another way to turn women on is to be calm. Because women are attracted to powerful, confident men, if you are calm, she will mirror your reactions. Being calm means listening, having a relaxed body posture—one that isn’t rigid and still, but is loose and friendly.