Do you consider yourself to be good at flirting? Can you charm the pants off of anything with two feet and a heartbeat? And are you a silver tongue? If you are none of these things, don’t fear, I’m Kate Spring, dating and relationship coach from Victoria, BC, and I’m here to guide you on some of the flirting mistakes that men make with women.
Forget whatever advice you learned in elementary school that taught you being mean to a woman was an acceptable form of flirting. Being mean to someone is not flirting; it’s being an ass. If you want to make a good and lasting impression on her, don’t play those kind of games. Be sincere.
I, like a lot of other girls, was told that if a boy was mean to be it really just meant that he liked me. This is one of the worst things to be taught when you are younger. This meant that I spent a good chunk of my teenage years chasing boys who were mean to me, thinking that this was their awkward way of saying that they liked me.
It was wrong then, and it’s wrong now. If you like someone, don’t be mean to them. It’s childish and will often lead to disappointment for both you and your girl of interest.
Remember, if you have any questions, please leave them in the comments below and I’ll be sure to respond to them, personally, as soon as I can.
The key to successfully approaching a woman that you are attracted to is know that women want to be approached in a sincere way. We want to feel like we stand out and are unique. If you approach us with a cheesy pick up line, then chances are we know you’ve probably tried that on a hand full of girls before you got to us.
Being sincere is not being a “pussy”; being sincere is actually a sign of maturity and lets us know that you are mature and aren’t just looking to get into our pants, even if that is your end game. Having a genuine interaction with a woman will work wonders for you, I promise.
Another mistake some men make when trying to flirt with women is that they steer the conversation in a serious direction too soon. When you approach a woman, in any situation, and your agenda is to be flirty, having a deep meaningful conversation doesn’t read as flirty to most people. Our minds are dark and twisted enough without having to interact with a crush in such a serious way right from the get go.
So keep the conversations light hearted and funny. This would not be an ideal time to disclose any of your strange sexual fetishes. We also want to avoid being too random; let that happen once you’ve gotten to know her and you understand each other’s sense of humor. To start, then, be light. All living things move towards the light, whether plant or human. It is where we all want to be.
While we’re learning some flirting mistakes, to get some solutions, head on over to katespring.com/free and get ahold of a free copy of my eBook The Attraction Building Handbook, which will give you ample information on how to get the woman you want. That’s katespring.com/free and I’ll be sure to leave the link in the details below.
Ok, this next mistake is one that is far too common and that is when guys are too drunk. Don’t get me wrong, there is a time and a place for liquid courage, but when you are genuinely trying to flirt, being drunk is more of a hindrance than a turn on.
There is nothing worse than being out with your friends only to have the drunkest guy in the bar approach you with stale beer on his breath and a faint hint of cigarette smoke trailing him. There is, however, something to be said about the guy who is able to compose himself in that type of environment.
If you are able to have a couple drinks and let your guard down and get into some good natured flirting, then I’d say you are well on your way to becoming boyfriend material.
Alright, my last tip in creating an effective flirting game is to be genuine in your conversation. Ask her questions about herself by all means, but avoid the yes or no type of questions. Remember, this is a conversation, not an interrogation.
So be interested, be sincere, keep eye contact, and let her know that she has your attention. Sometimes being an active listener is more important than anything that you can say. The quickest way to end a conversation is to pay attention to everyone else in the room but the person that you are speaking to.
The more resilient you are in your flirting, the better off you will be. And, honestly, the more practice you have the more comfortable you will be in that state of mind. If you can avoid teasing in an unkind way, being a downer in your conversation, avoid being intoxicated and, rather, ask her interesting questions, then I have no doubt your flirting will be fruitful.